


A busy person

by Xikozo



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: ? - Freeform, Alternate Character Interpretation, Character Study, Complete, Headcanon, I Don't Even Know, M/M, Out of Character, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-05
Updated: 2020-09-19
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:49:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26299690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xikozo/pseuds/Xikozo
Summary: What was the feeling that Yaku was suddenly feeling. It was nothing similar to the void he had just been feeling for the last days, in fact, it was a complete whole different feeling. What could it be?OrYaku feeling lonelyI’m awful at summaries please spare me—
Relationships: Haiba Lev/Yaku Morisuke
Comments: 4
Kudos: 41





	1. Introduction

**Author's Note:**

> So uh first fanfic ever published yay!  
> Hope you like it!  
> Sorry if the first part is super short the chapters will get longer!

Yaku had always been someone busy. Either it was school tasks, volleyball practices, personal hobbies or projects, it didn’t matter, Yaku had always been busy doing something. Busy enough to avoid the stuff he didn’t want to think about but at the same time he made sure to don’t overwork himself to the point he would burnout. Until, now, as with the just applied quarantine, he couldn’t go out and do stuff to feel productive and entertain himself, Yaku, to his very dismay, was now trapped in the four walls of his apartment and with no one more and no one less than his worst enemy, his brain. 

The first days went fine, not memorable, but at least they passed neither horrendously nor magnificently. He had managed to get himself mildly occupied with simple tasks and a routine. His routine consisted of waking up early, doing exercise, eating breakfast, doing some more exercises, eating lunch, taking a shower, taking a small break, and finally eating his dinner early so that he could wake up early the next morning and repeat. 

Any sane person would know that the short libero was doing way more exercise than needed, he knew it. He had been doing this for two reasons, one conscious and the other one unconscious. The first reason was that he wanted to make sure to keep improving even under the actual circumstances but the unconscious reason, the more important from both, was because he didn’t want to feel the void. What the hell was Yaku even talking about? Well, everyone had someone, friends, family, lovers, whoever, but everybody had somebody, somebody who they could spend their time with, somebody who they could call and be sure to be answered, somebody that no matter what happened they could be sure that they would be there to support them, but not him, he had no one who he could so blindly trust and this made him feel a sense of emptiness, he didn’t want to feel like that, that’s why the young man had been trying his best to keep himself busy.

Don’t get him wrong, Yaku had never really been the type of person to excessively care about relationships, now, this doesn’t mean that Yaku didn’t care about his teammates on his new team or on his old teams it just meant it wasn’t his priority to make a bond with every single person he met.

Despite that, after giving it a bit of thought and reflection to the subject, as he ended giving up on shoving off the feeling, he concluded that what caused it was probably the fact that he had never been good with people and the fact that he had always wanted to believe that being good at volleyball was the only thing he needed to be happy and that with that was more than enough but this quarantine had shoved into his face the fact that apart from volleyball the guy had left abandoned and in bad state so many aspects of his life. 

After noticing that he also noticed that, he wanted to get a call from his old teammates more than he would ever accept. It’s a bit ironic, anyone who would not know Yaku would swear that he probably disliked most of his teammates, well more specifically Kuroo and Lev, but in reality, he didn’t, despite all the times he had shouted to them, Yaku did genuinely cared for that group of stupid but fun to hang around people.

Looking back at those memories he had made at Nekoma, he regretted so much not spending more time with all his teammates. But well, there was no point in regretting, right? So Yaku made a decision, if he didn’t get a call of anyone til tomorrow he would call Kuroo. 

If he had only been able to see the unexpected turn out of events that would happen the next day Yaku would have probably not been able to sleep that night.


	2. Phone Call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will Lev finally appear on this chapter or will it again only be Yaku again?
> 
> Discover it by reading the chapter!

Yaku had woke up the next morning by the sound of his set up alarm. He didn’t need it any longer, he had got used to his sleeping schedule a long way back, but the ginger-haired boy hadn’t got rid of it for the mere reason of routine. He had already got used to hearing the loud and non-stopping sound of his alarm every morning.

You could also say that the sound his alarm made was one of the little amounts of sounds that Yaku was sure he would hear on his new daily basis as he had never been one to hear music while doing exercise and nowadays he would barely get out of his apartment. His new routine had ended leading to the situation that there was a really little amount of sounds Yaku would be sure to hear on his day some of these being the sound that the frypan did when he tried his best on making himself breakfast every morning or the sound that water made when hitting his face while taking a shower.

He left a grown with slight annoyance in his face. The reason for his annoyance? The fact he had to wake up and start his day already, call him crazy if you want, but he was having the feeling that today something important was going to happen, something life-changing even if you will, the problem was in the fact that it didn’t necessarily was going to be something good. He was almost sure to wait for something to happen as for his horrible luck, in this case, his gut had been most of the time right rather than wrong.

Yaku had always been someone who´s life was mainly filled with certainty, he even believed that it was because of that why he liked volleyball that much, nothing is for sure to happen in a volleyball match, anything and everything is possible to happen and this gave him that adrenaline rush he had been aching for. 

Anyway, the Yaku had gotten used to being sure of what is going to happen next for the longest part of his life with the exception of volleyball so when his life was suddenly filled with unpredictable factors after deciding he wanted to go pro on volleyball, he couldn’t deny that it made him nervous. What could life have now on the store for him?

Despite that, he perfectly knew that it was the unknown and unpredictable situations that ended leading up to amazing and life-changing opportunities. The epitome of this for the now problemed man had been what had happened to him when he made up his mind about the offer he had received regarding playing at his actual volleyball team at the Russian league. 

He had never been to Russia neither knew Russian nor the country’s traditions. Well, back at Nekoma he had known Lev Haiba, a first-year student who had Russian parents but Lev himself was just almost as lost on the subject of Russian traditions as Yaku was. So, to say the very least, the libero didn’t know anything about Russia nor it´s people therefore he didn’t have the very least idea of how his experience of living at Russia would turn out. Of course, he could search up as many travel blogs as he wanted but nothing would surpass the experience of being there or knowing any of that stuff from firsthand. So, after giving it intensive thought he decided to go for it and discover out what the country´s volleyball league had to offer him. 

Even though, the young man had gone through ups and downs overall his experience in the league so far had been outstandingly good. Because of this, you could bet that Yaku knew perfectly that unexpected situations weren’t always a bad thing but that was nowhere near about to help him ease the unsettling feeling he was having.

Once he managed to get himself to stand up, he knew there was no way he was going back to bed, both a relief and a curse. He left out a sigh, he had never really been a morning person despite the fact he had awake up early for most of his life. Before going to wash his face, he did some uncomplicated stretches. For some reason, stretches had always helped him to feel more energetic, so he always started his day by doing that. 

Now, with a bit more energy he went to the bathroom and washed his face. “Eww” Yaku thought for himself when seeing his face on the bathroom mirror. Would someone be kind enough to remember the short guy why in heaven’s sake he thought it was a good idea to put a mirror in the bathroom when he hated to look at his face?

I mean, you could say he was going to need it anyway because he would need to see how he looked before getting out of his apartment, and you would be half right but he could do that just fine with his phone with the frontal camera and it wouldn’t have been a daily reminder for him of how awful he always looks on the morning. He made a mental note to change the location of the mirror to somewhere else and took his towel which was hanging around.

After washing his face, he changed his pajamas to sports clothes, if there was something he loved about sports clothes is that they tend to be super comfortable. He then, went to the kitchen to deal with the most changeling thing he was probably going to do on the whole day, make breakfast. Well, breakfast was not exactly the most difficult but cooking, in general, was just one of the areas in which Yaku if possible, rather not get involved. 

His friends used to call the guy "mom" teasingly because he would always be worried about them and would also scold them constantly but if there was something that he couldn't do that most mother could do easily it was cooking. 

Despite that, after moving to his apartment he was faced and forced to learn how to cook the hard way, through many YouTube videos and complicated to follow recipes. You might be thinking, god, why he complicates himself so much? And there’s a simple answer for that, Yaku now as a pro volleyball player, must keep a balanced and healthy diet so that he performs at his best therefore there was no instant ramen option for him. It took him a week to stop burning his food and a couple of months to make it taste edible but now after a while, his food looked good enough. 

He managed to make himself breakfast without burning anything and left the dirty utensils on the sink to wash them later. With a relief sight, after not burning anything, he sat down on his small kitchen table. The kitchen table small due to the fact that Yaku had never been the type of person to throw parties or invite friends over so he rarely had any guests and if he had they almost never were more than a couple of friends so there was no need for a bigger kitchen table.

He was about to finish his breakfast when he hears a sound he hadn’t heard in weeks, maybe even in a month, the sound of his phone getting a call.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear Lev will appear on the next chapter please don´t kill me.
> 
> I feel I´m including way too many headcannons and I´m writing more my interpretation of Yaku rather than writing actual Yaku I´m sorry I´ll try to make Yaku sound more like Yaku. Hope it makes sense :(


	3. Problem

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I have given up on making summaries just read to discover what happens.

As if by instinct, Yaku stood up in the same instant he recognized the sound as coming from his phone. He, still with a piece of food on his mouth and with dirty hands, almost ran up to his bedroom as he had left his phone charging there. He took his phone and checked the screen.

“Unknown Number” the guy read on the screen. All his emotion suddenly vanished, he was about to deny the call when suddenly something fell from someplace, the now startled man couldn’t tell what it was, but it sounded so loud that it caused him to accidentally press the accept call button. 

He cursed himself in what was a murmur but before he could end the call the stranger who was at the other side of the phone said in Russian “Yamamoto have you seen the last episode of-“ before the person could end his sentence he stopped himself and there was dead silence for a while. He guessed that the stranger had noticed their error. 

The funny thing was that for some reason the voice of the stranger on the other side of the phone oddly enough remind him of the voice of Lev and coincidence or not they both used to have a teammate called Taketora Yamamoto. But it would have been too much of a coincidence for the stranger to be the self proclaimed ace of Nekoma, he chuckled at the thought. Besides, Lev didn’t know Russian, even after the many times Yaku had teased him saying he should try to learn it and the fact that Yaku had many times imagined how Lev would sound like if he would speak in Russian, in reality, Lev didn’t even know how to say hello in Russian. Apart from that, he had the beanpole´s phone number from the last time they saw each other, and they had just talked some months ago which meant that unless that in those months he had changed his phone there was no chance the stranger was Lev.

“I´m not Yamamoto” Yaku finally replied on Japanese before realizing his error shortly after. 

Despite the fact of how considerably long he had been living in Russia, he would still think in Japanese, and because of this sometimes mess up the languages and end talking in a combination of both.

“Sorry, I´m not Yamamoto” said Yaku again but now in Russian.

“A-Ah so so sorry!” apologized exaggeratedly the man on the other part of the line.

After that, the man on the other side hanged up. Once ended the call, the young man left the laugh he had been holding back.

But then he suddenly stopped, as he had just realized something now out from that, he had realized how much he had been missing hearing Lev noisy and enthusiastic voice. Why did he stop texting him even? Oh right, he had got busy, then lazy and at some point, he forgot about writing him back. He suddenly felt bad for not writing back to Lev in such a long time, would he even want to talk with Yaku after he didn’t answer him for months?

Great! He now would overthink it for the rest of the day and probably would end never texting Lev. “Stupid! Enough!” he shouted scolding himself. He breathes in and breathes out. Then, grabbed his phone with determination and went to messages on his phone. He checked out, he was right, he hadn’t text Lev in a while, well more precisely in 3 months, 13 days, and 5 hours. Before his rational part could stop him, he wrote “hello” and sent the text to his ex-teammate. After that, like if his life would depend on it, he got out of the chat and out of the message application while containing himself from the urge to throw his phone. 

“Calm down, the worse that could happen is that he doesn’t reply” Yaku thought to reassure himself to don’t think too hard on it. Well, what the short guy learned was that maybe that would have been preferable because what he wasn’t expecting in the least was to get an almost instant reply out from his kohai. He was so startled when he heard the sound meaning he got a notification that he almost dropped his phone. 

Only then, he got out of his thoughts and remembered the sound of something dropping he had heard before. He left his phone charging on his bedroom and went to the kitchen to find out that what had caused the sound had been that the frypan had dropped out from the sink since Yaku had put it too near to the border. Thanks to god the frypan looked just fine, well, the fall shouldn’t have been that hard mostly just loud. 

“Why am I like this?” he thought. Before Yaku the libero could start cleaning his mess, he went rushing back to his room. He made a self-note to always reply to Lev and anyone important as soon as possible, he was not repeating the error he had made last time as knowing himself if he didn’t reply in the same moment he got the notification or some minutes later there was an enormous chance he would end forgetting about it and never reply. Also, the frypan wouldn’t move anywhere.

So, he checked out what Lev had texted him.

“Hey!”  
“Are you ok?”

That was the reply Yaku had gotten. Of course, if someone doesn’t write you in months and then you suddenly get a text from them saying “hello” any person would think that something important had happened or that they needed something not that the person had just been through a mini existential crisis and wanted to get back in touch with them. 

His problem now was not the text itself but what to write next, should he apologize for not texting him back in months? Would Lev rather just ignore that? Why in god’s sake he had to overthink so much over just writing a text?

After thinking it for some seconds, he decided that it would be best to apologize, it's not something nice at all to be ignored for months, and to make it worse knowing Lev he might even think that Yaku ignored him on purpose and the only thing that thought helped to was to make Yaku feel even more guilty than he was already feeling. After thinking it for some more seconds he was sure of what to text back.

“Yeah I´m okay”  
“Can I call you?”

If Yaku was apologizing, he would do it the right way.

He hoped that Lev was fine with Yaku calling him, he wanted to be able to apologize for the most personally he could take into consideration they weren’t even in the same country

He couldn´t help himself from leaving a sight after not getting an instant reply like last time. He was about to get out of his room to clean up the utensils on the sink he had been trying to avoid when he found the perfect excuse to don’t clean up, he had got another notification.

He didn’t think about it, he opened the text as soon as his finger managed to.

“Sure”  
“Are you sure you are okay?”

Lev must be thinking he was acting so weird. Why must he always be so short-tempered and give off a false scary impression to people? If he wouldn’t give off that impression then when he acted caring and clingy around people they wouldn't get surprised because of discovering their “demon senpai” could also be like that sometimes.

Either way, without losing a second, Yaku replied.

“Yeah I´m fine”

After replying he searched upon his contacts and called Lev. He had never asked many things to god is not like he was that much of a strong believer either but if there was only one thing that he was asking for god at this moment was for Lev to get the call.

It seemed that god was on his side on this one, as Lev took the call.

“Hey Yaku-san, how you are doing?” 

Yaku was screaming internally, to say the least, it was probably the fact that hadn’t heard another person´s voice in what had been around a couple of weeks as it had been the last time he had been out to shop and the fact he hadn’t talked to Lev in what now felt like a lifetime.

“Hey, Lev, I´m sorry for not talking with you in so long, I had been busy with- “ 

Before Yaku could end his apology, he was stopped by Lev.

“It´s fine Yaku-san!” said Lev on the other line of the phone “Work can get super tiring sometimes, right?” he said making a small pause and leaving a sight “Fashion industry is just as competitive if not even worse than series and movies put it like.” he continued suddenly no longer sounding like the always motivated and cheered up Lev which Yaku was so used to hear but before he could point it out Lev was back to a happier tone “So your job must be hard too! Don’t stress over it!”

“Thank you” said Yaku sincerely appreciating the fact that Lev wasn’t annoyed on the slightest about it.

There was still something bugging Yaku though, Lev didn’t sound like himself. Of course, he hadn’t talked with him in a considerable amount of time, at least not this directly so it would only make sense for Lev to have change but despite knowing that, there was still something that didn’t fit correctly in Yaku´s mind. So, he decided to be direct and asked “Lev, are YOU alright?”

There was silence for a couple of seconds till Lev finally answered.

“Yeah, why shouldn’t I be?” said Lev who probably hadn’t been able to detect Yaku worry or was just oblivious about it.

“Would you mind stop being oblivious for once in your life?” 

The older man hadn’t intended to snap like that, he didn’t want to, not after finally being able to talk back to him after so long, he didn’t want to ruin the moment, but he hadn’t been able to hold himself back.

Scared that he had messed it up Yaku had to resist the impulse to just end the call right in that instant and instead waited for Lev to answer. Lev was completely silent for a while until he left an almost unperceivable sight and gave up on it.

“Fine, I´ll tell you” said the man at the end of the line.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, Lev finally appeared!
> 
> I feel like I waste too much time explaining stuff instead of making actual story progression. Will try to fix it!
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	4. Bother

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just read. I cannot write summaries even if my life would depend on it. Sorry.

“So, say Lev, what’s been bothering you?” asked Yaku intending to make sure that the man on the other side of the phone wouldn’t try to avoid replying to the intended question.

“Long story short” started explaining Lev with an uncharacteristically humorless tone “My manager had let me know that, a while ago, she had been told that I should get skinnier.” 

Yaku who was trying to process what he had just heard, did not say anything. Not because he did not want to, but because he couldn’t manage to get words out from his mouth, at least not in a comprehensible way. How could anyone tell Lev to get skinnier? He knew that people were obsessed with insanely skinny people, but the man was already exceptionally skinny, to the point that once back at Nekoma, Yaku had seriously asked him if he had anorexia out from how skinny he was. Hence, why he couldn’t possibly understand how anyone could think he should be skinnier. Before Yaku could continue getting irritated Lev continued talking.

“At first, I tried to slide away from it, I had already been keeping out an extremely rigid diet and been making exercise daily for a minimum of a couple of hours so I didn’t know if it was even possible for me to be skinnier” after finishing part of his explanation he left out a sigh and then still with an emotionless tone added, “I hoped, or rather foolishly believed that my manager would just forget about it in some days, but she didn’t.”

The young libero had never met Lev´s manager, but if he ever did, he was not capable of making the promise that it was going to end nicely. The complication was that Yaku perfectly knew that Lev´s manager probably uniquely wanted what she considered and believed was best for his career, despite that, he couldn’t help but believe she was going overboard about it.

“Alisa tried to convince her that there was no way I could get skinnier while maintaining a truly healthy diet, but she didn’t listen.” continued the man every time sounding sadder than before.  
Lev didn’t give the older guy the chance to say anything about what he had just heard and instead finished narrating his story with “She said next week we would start with the changes and I’m extremely uneasy about it.” He did truly sound anxious about it, way too anxious.

So that had been what had been bothering him. 

Yaku was lost at words, to say the very least. He desired so badly that he could give a hug to his kohai and be able to offer his shoulder to him in that same instant, sadly, Yaku was in Russia and Lev on Japan and no matter how badly he wanted, there was nothing he could do about it. For now, all that he could do was give his support by the phone.

“Man, why you got to be like this” was all that mumbled the ginger-haired man through the phone in the middle of his frustration.

“Huh?” was all that Lev, who was now confused, managed to say. 

“Always that I talk with you, you make me want to be right there with you.” thought Yaku.

But instead of speaking out loud what was going through his mind, he shortly answered “Nothing” only to then add “It´s completely normal for you to fret over it, in fact, I think you should try convincing your manager to re-think it.”

There was silence for a moment, and then Yaku decided to speak up.

“Lev, hear carefully because I´m not repeating it, you’re already naturally skinny, I don’t know what does the jerk who told your manager you should get skinnier was thinking about but, you shouldn’t put your health over your looks because sooner or later it’ll fire back to you ten times worse than at the beginning.” Said the angered man, who was now practically scolding the man on the other side of the call.

Lev was about to say something when Yaku interrupted him.

“I’m not done yet.” he said with a slightly unsettling voice, Lev believed that the motive to why it sounded so unsettling to him was due to the fact that Yaku sounded genuinely worried, now, he felt even worse than at the begging as he had now managed to make Yaku worry over him, yeah, he shouldn’t have told him, stupid Lev.

Before Lev could fall deeper into the pit of guilt, Yaku´s voice got him out of his thoughts. 

“I’m not saying that every single manager out there is like this but, managers in big industries don’t tend to precisely deeply care about the person they are advising, they can go from managing one person to another, if one of their models fails, the manager´s career doesn’t necessarily crash with them as they can simply look for another person.” explained Yaku who was now trying to be the most brutally honest he could for the sake of getting Lev to understand his point.

After some seconds, the older man continued with his speech. 

“With this I mean to tell you to don’t sacrifice neither your physical nor mental health, if you mess up at some point with either of them your career is done, get it?” said Yaku who after analyzing his own words include to his already spoken words “I´m not saying this to put on you more pressure but rather for you to realize that you should take care of yourself over everything else, cheesy and all, you only have one life, take good care of it, will you?” said Yaku who was now sounding more like a worried mother.

Lev left a little chuckled and reply “Yes mother, I will!” It seemed that he had noticed the drastic change in Yaku´s tone of voice as his speech had gone, from an irritated to a distressed one.

The just mentioned man was now having missed feelings, he was glad that Lev had said he would take care of himself, but he was somewhat annoyed by the fact that he got called mother.

“If I´m your mother then expect me to call you to scold you daily!” said Yaku vaguely angry but mainly teasing “You won't escape from me and my daily calls!” At this point, all anger was vanished from Yaku and in its place was now laugher, not an extremely loud type of laugh but rather a quiet and soft one but it still meant just as much.

“Well, I wouldn´t mind getting a daily call from you, even if it’s only to scold me.” said Lev who now was back to speaking on a happier tone, it seemed that he had gotten cheered up, Yaku was glad.

What Yaku couldn’t tell though, was whether Lev had been joking around when he claimed he wouldn’t mind getting daily calls from him. He would be more than overjoyed to call him daily however if it was going to be troublesome for Lev, he rather not do it. Now that he thought about it, for him it was morning nonetheless for the man in Japan, it must be around half of the day at least.

“Well, I leave you, you must have a lot of stuff to do, talk to you later.” declared Yaku who was about to hang up when Lev said something which stopped him from doing so.

“Wait! Yaku-san, you never told me why you call me up in the first place.” Said Lev who seemed to just now recall that at the beginning of their talk he had been the one wondering if the other person was alright.

Yaku who was dumbfounded in front of the sudden brought back of the question replied the best he could without sounding suspicious “Ah, nothing, nothing at all, what, do now I need an excuse to talk with you?” If it wouldn’t have been for the fact that the short-tempered guy was back at his common serious tone of voice Lev would have believed he was being made fun of.

“No, no, I didn’t mean it that way.” said Lev anxious over the idea that Yaku might have gotten offended or believed that he didn’t wish to talk with him. “What I meant was that you hadn’t replied to me in a long time, why so suddenly?” tried to inquiry Lev hoping that his words couldn’t be misunderstood for a second time.

“Nothing really” insisted Yaku, who to be entirely honest with himself, didn’t want to admit that he had called Lev because he had felt lonely. After acknowledging Lev wouldn’t be satisfied with the just given answer and would insist if he didn’t give a more elaborated explanation he came up with “It´s just, I was checking out old chats so, uh, I found yours, yeah, that was it.”

Yaku hoped that Lev would believe the just made up lie as he would completely rather die than admit he called Lev up because he was feeling alone, and Lev from all people. 

Funnily enough, Yaku had also just realized that for the relatively brief time that he had got to know Lev at Nekoma he had surprisingly grown attached to him despite Lev´s ability to hit a nerve even when he didn’t aim to.

For his luck, Lev seemed to have believed him.

“Ah, I see, I see.” said Lev who wasn’t convinced at all but decided not to insist more. “Yaku-san, tell me, are you busy?” asked Lev with an amount of uncertainty on his words as he was not sure if he should have popped the question or not.

That question reminded Yaku from the still yet to clean disaster at his kitchen and he slightly flinches at the sole thought of having to clean it up. Suddenly, Lev´s voice got Yaku out of his thoughts.

“Because if you’re not busy, would you mind talking with me for a bit longer?” asked Lev still with a slight nervousness in his voice in a failed attempt to try to sound more confident.

Even though Yaku couldn’t see Lev´s pretty face through the phone, he could confidently bet all his money that Lev was doing a puppy face, and just from imagining it, he could not care less about the frypan and dirty utensils on the sink which would now have to wait longer.

Despite all the enthusiasm that Yaku had on keep talking with Lev all he responded was “Sure”

He despised that part of himself so much, why couldn´t he express himself like he intended to? Why couldn’t he display how he was truly feeling? Right, because of his pride, stupid pride. 

“Good to hear!” said the enthusiastic man who now seemed completely gladden and entirely back to his normal tone as absolutely nothing had happened. After that, he also said, “So, now Yaku-san, it's your turn to tell me how you’d been doing.”

Ah, had Lev truly not believed his lie, or was he simply trying to create a topic for conversation again?

It’s a question he never managed to figure out nonetheless, he uncomplicatedly replied with an “It´s been fine.”

In this occasion, it hadn’t been that he had been trying to hide anything specific from the man on the other side of the phone as apart from his loneliness overall his life had been in all honesty alright, it was just that Yaku didn’t found his life worth being the topic of a conversation, especially not when talking with someone more interesting than him.

You could call Lev insistent, but he had the feeling that the older man was hiding something from him. 

Of course, it probably was just the fact that Yaku was being reserved about his personal life because unlike Lev, other people do keep their problems to themselves and won´t go and talk about them to the first person who they got the chance to converse with. Sadly, knowing all that didn’t help him to shake off that uneasy feeling.

If he had to be frank, he had thought that he had grown closer to his ex-teammate in the last couple of years as they had always kept on touch, in some circumstances more than in others but always in touch. 

But maybe Yaku didn’t think the same, maybe Yaku just didn’t felt that they were close enough for telling him about whatever was going on his life, maybe Lev shouldn’t have insisted on keeping talking with him, maybe Yaku was just tired of Lev, maybe Lev was just a bother to Yaku, yeah, probably Lev was just a bother to Yaku.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It is 3 am and I´ve just finished editing this so I hope it makes sense--
> 
> Thank you for reading and thanks to all the people who have left kudos! It really does mean a lot to me :)
> 
> See you on the next update!


	5. Guilt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter,
> 
> Ha! You really expected a chapter summary? Sorry there is none.

“Hey, tell me the truth, you’re sick of me, aren’t you?” Lev demanded to know the truth through the phone where he was about to lose it, he was just done with the situation.

It had always been like this with Yaku, he had to guess what the older man truly meant through all his harsh and unexpressive words, and at this point, he had just enough. It neither helped the fact that Lev was an anxious person so it was not only Yaku´s distant nature, but to it was added Lev´s uncertainties and doubts and he could no longer keep up with it, no matter how much he cared about Yaku. It all had just piled up onto an enormous mountain up to this point where it had become too insufferable to him. Or maybe he was just being overly dramatic, he could tell he would later regret his actions but that didn’t stop him. 

“What?!” asked Yaku who was just perplexed and lost at words against the accusation, where had that question even came from? 

Yaku had not the slightest idea of why was Lev suddenly asking him that, why in heaven´s sake would Lev believe that he was tired of him? What had Yaku done? He couldn’t possibly comprehend. And that just angered Lev more.

“Do you truly not realize?” asked Lev with a notorious tone of unbelieve, rather than speaking he was now shouting through the phone, it didn’t fit him, it was so not like him, and it was Yaku´s fault.

In those moments, Yaku wanted to sink into the deepest of the ocean and let to die alone there. Sadly, he couldn’t, sadly, he would have to answer to the man on the other side of the phone.

“I swear Lev that I don’t have the slightest idea of what you’re talking about!” exclaimed Yaku trying his best not to shout back at Lev because he was sure that if he did, the conversation was going to be done there, and if it was going to end wrongly, he at least wanted to know what he had done to upset Lev so much.

“Yaku, no matter how hard I’ve tried, you won’t come out from your shell, I can tell you’re not being yourself.” said his kouhai who was no longer shouting but rather, this time, sounded like he was about to cry.

Great, great, congratulations Yaku, you managed to hurt someone in less than half an hour that must be a record!

Remember the deep ocean of before? Yeah, forget about it, now it was not bad enough for what Yaku wished that could happen to him.

“Tell me, what must I do for you to open up?” asked Lev.

What? Yaku must have heard wrongly that, after all the pain and difficulties that Yaku had made Lev go through, he still wanted to be around him? Why? Was he insane? Probably, no one with enough neurons would want to be around Yaku, yeah, that was probably why Lev wanted to stick around him. Before Yaku could even notice, his chin was trembling and he no longer felt like being able to maintain his weight, he fell on the floor as tears were threatening to start taking over him.

“I´m so sorry” was all that Yaku managed to mutter before hanging the call.

He did wanted Lev to be around his life, he did care about Lev, he had for a long-time liked Lev, unconsciously or not, he had liked him since they met. And that was exactly why Yaku didn’t want to hurt Lev again, it was the best for him, he deserved better than Yaku, Yaku didn’t deserve anything. 

Despite the choice having been his own, he could hear his heart being torn apart and then being shattered into pieces, now, he was sure he was not okay. When he felt like trash, that in the last month had been something common, he likes laying on the floor. It somehow calmed him as all the effort he had to do in that position was to breathe. Consequently, he lay on the floor wishing to wake up by the noisy sound of his alarm and discover that it was all a horrifying dream, unfortunately, he knew that wasn’t going to happen. 

The floor was cold to Yaku´s touch as his entire body had been heated up due to the extreme running emotions he had experienced in the last minutes. He lay there for what could have been minutes, maybe even hours, he had no idea. Until the sound of something got him out of his trance.

The sound he heard was of his phone getting a call. He didn’t even want to bother to look at it even though his cellphone was just at his bed and it wouldn’t mean any effort at all. He didn’t want to know about anyone or anything.

So, he let it sound till it ended, he was glad when the noise stopped, but then it began again. That happened for around three times until Yaku gave up on it and stood up just enough to be able to grab his phone. He looked at his screen and this time it was of a registered phone, it was not Lev, it was Kuroo. 

Why did his ex-classmate have to call precisely at that moment? And more importantly, what could be so urgent for him to insist so much? They had texted each other just a while ago and the man seemed to be doing alright so what could have possibly come up in just some days?

With that thought in mind and despite the horrible timing, Yaku did the best to compose himself and answered the call, waiting for Kuroo to explain the motive of his sudden communication.

“Hey Yaku,” said the man with a doubtful voice, he wasn’t sure if what he was doing was the right thing, but he had to do something.

“Hey” answered Yaku to his best extent.

“Lev told me what happened.” said Kuroo as if that was all the explication Yaku needed to hear as the reason for his call.

Yaku didn’t want to know anything more, he didn’t want to hear anything that Kuroo could have to say. This because he was sure that whatever he had to say would only be troublesome and bring him more problems than answers. Hence, he did what he had done with Lev, he ended the call.

The young man had always done that, ended things when they got messy or complicated. He hated that, he didn’t do anything about it though and he probably would never do anything about it.

Maybe he deserved all the suffering he was feeling. Why would he deserve anything else when he had never really tried to get closer to people? He had just realized that. It had been a realization month, huh. He was now back to laying on his cold bedroom floor not being able to care less about everything that was possibly happening around him.

“Damn, these is why I always stick to routines.” Yaku shouted in what was a reproach to himself. No longer being able to contain it, tears started overflowing his face and he just wanted to stop existing, to stop breathing, to stop being a problem to people. 

Anyone who would have seen him in that state of self-sabotage would have never believed it was him, not Yaku Morisuke, how could someone who seemed with his life so in order be the same person who was now laying on the floor crying to himself to calm down.

Right, Yaku used to have his life so in order, what the hell happened to that Yaku? That Yaku met Lev, and for once in his life for a long time he genuinely wanted to get to know someone, he wanted to get close to him. That was going to be the end of him, that had been the end of him. As when one wants something or is simply in love, one gets dumber than normally, one believes it’s possible to achieve it, in that state, people do stuff which they would regret sooner or later. Yaku was the prefect prove of that and he despised it.

He kept laying on the floor for some minutes more, not managing to find the motivation to get himself up. Thinking about stuff he hadn’t thought about in ages, thinking about stuff he would prefer to forget, thinking about happy memories, thinking about every single decision that had led him to become who he was nowadays. 

Looking in retrospect, for the libero, it was breathtaking the fact of how even small decisions which one wouldn’t give much thought about could lead to an actual enormous impact on the future. Like that one time he had—

Before Yaku could finish his thought, he heard a sound that took him out of it. It was his phone, again, another call. 

He thought that it was his ex-classmate being persistent, therefore, out in a range of irritation he grabbed his phone without checking the caller and shouted at it “I don’t want to hear whatever you have to say Kuroo!”

“Ah?!” exclaimed the person on the other side of the phone. “I´m sorry mister, we´re from the new internet company, didn’t meant to annoy you, won’t call again.” said the now scared person who immediately hanged up.

How frightening had Yaku sounded for the guy from the call center to hang up almost immediately and even apologize? He must have sounded like a monster. 

Yaku couldn’t stay like this for the rest of his life, he needed to do something. Therefore, he made a decision, he would confess. 

He would confess his feelings to Lev, he wouldn’t lose anything as their relationship had already gone to the worse possible situation. Besides, Lev would probably not return his feelings so if he would have confessed it would have led to the same situation than now, the guy he liked probably not wanting to know anything about him. With the only difference that at if he confessed, he would have that weight out of his gut, and it would no longer haunt him. If his relationship with his kouhai was going to end, at least he wanted to don’t have any regret, and so he had decided. After all, the situation couldn’t get worse, right?

As a result of these thoughts, Yaku got enough motivation to stand up and think of what exactly he was going to say, well, if in the first place Lev would even answer his call. Would Lev even want to hear his sorry self? Probably not. Did it matter to him at this point? No, in case the younger man wouldn’t answer the phone he would simply leave a voice mail, the point was to get it out of him, to finally be free of it, a truth he hadn’t wanted to accept.

So Yaku with that in mind managed to get himself to press the call button. He honestly didn’t know if he wanted Lev to pick up the call, if he did, it would probably make him hesitant and he would probably flee in the last second. Instead, he knew that if Lev didn’t pick up the call that would only mean he didn’t want to know anything about him, this just making the short guy surer about his choice. Either way, he didn’t truly expect an answer of Lev in any of the situations.

After his phone rang for some minutes but the call wasn’t answered, he thought that he was going to have to leave a voice mail. Until for his unluckiness or maybe not, Lev did pick up the call.

His confidence in what he was about to do suddenly vanished as if it had never been there. In that instant, he felt that he should have stayed crying on the floor, foolish Yaku, what was he thinking when he thought this was a good idea?

“Yaku-san?” asked Lev. His voice sounded like had been crying for days for saying the least.

If Yaku had already felt bad, he was now feeling worse if that was even possible, it seemed that it was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a roller coaster for me.  
> I began writting it with an idea of how I wanted it to go, then went into a block, discarded lots of ideas and came up with some new. I´m just going to say it ended in a complete different whole way I had originally planned it to.  
> Despite that, I kinda like how it went and I hope you did too.  
> See you in the next update!


	6. Redemption and Resolution

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nope, nothing, sorry.

“L-Lev” was all that he managed to mumble before abruptly starting to cry. He couldn’t do it, he wasn’t strong enough, and now he was acting like a toddler in front of the man on the other side of the phone. 

“Yaku-san? Are you okay?”

“Do I sound okay?!” answered the older one hysterically.

There was a silence from Lev´s part for a moment, this causing that Yaku´s sorrow was the only possible thing to hear through the phone. 

Lev didn’t know what to say or do, he had never been good at cheering up people. You could say that it was unexpected from someone like Lev to don’t be able to cheer people up and you would be right. What happened was that most of the times he would try to cheer up someone, he could tell that the person who he was trying to cheer thought that his words weren’t genuine and that he only was being kind. In addition, he didn’t know any better way of cheering up people than with words, that made him useless on the matter. 

From the other person´s perspective, he could kind of understand why they wouldn’t believe him. 

It haves a completely different impact to hear an “all will be alright” from someone as brainless as him than hearing the same words from someone like Kuroo or Kenma. You know that if they are bothering to say something like that it is because they truly mean it and not just because they were trying to be nice. But the thing was that Lev wasn’t being nice or exaggerate, he truly meant what he says all the time.

“I’m sorry for my stupidity,” was all that Lev figure out to say.

If it would have been in any other context it would have sounded like something trivial, maybe even funny, however, Yaku could tell Lev did seriously meant it as an actual apology. This made Yaku stop crying, why was he being apologized to? He was the one that had abruptly hung up on Lev and even through Lev had been the one to question Yaku in the first place, Yaku had been the one who hadn’t been able to express himself, therefore, ruining their friendship. 

“Yes, you’re really stupid, you don’t have to apologize to me,” said Yaku who was now slightly more calmed than before but still on the edge. “I am the one who should be apologizing to you.”

“Yaku-san, for once I must tell you that you’re wrong as hell.” Said Lev with determination in his voice.

That caught Yaku absolutely by surprise. 

“What do you mean?” asked Yaku.

“Yaku-san, you always have had to deal with my stupidity since you were a third year at Nekoma,” started explaining Lev unexpectedly changing his tone to one that made him sounding miserable “I would completely understand if you wouldn’t want to see me ever again, just, please tell me, okay?” 

“You really are brainless,” declared Yaku.

Yaku had to resist the urge to simply hang up the call and flee from whatever even worse complication the conversation could bring if he was completely open, but this time, he didn’t flee. He had managed to get till there, now there was no going back. Yaku had always been one to avoid complex and unnecessary situations when possible, until that instant. He was done with being like that, he was going to do what he considered was better rather than safer.

“Lev, I fucking love you moron.” said Yaku in a rush trying to be over with it for once and for all.

He felt as a massive weight leave him to never return, his secret was out, and for some reason, it didn’t feel as bad as Yaku had expected it to. 

Lev was shocked, no, he was open-mouthed in unbelieve. How could it be possible that Yaku Morisuke, someone of a person as outstanding and brilliant as him, someone who had certainly met lots of impressive people, was now confessing to someone as lame as himself? How was that possible? Was Yaku playing a prank on him hence why he had suddenly called? Was it innocent’s day?

There was a moment of silence in which Lev did genuinely searched up when it was the innocent´s day and discovered that, no, it was not. While that, Yaku had to contain himself from throwing his phone through his room window, it was undeniably tempting. As that way, no one could annoy Yaku for what remained of his confinement in his apartment. For his fortune or misfortune, before he could make up his mind about throwing his phone, Lev spoke up.

“Why didn’t you say so?” was all that asked Lev.

“What?” asked Yaku, who was now the one in utter confusion.

“I love you too,” said Lev as if it would be something with no extraordinary importance at all. “I´ve always like you.” He added but now with a more sentimental tone.

How could Lev say something like that and make it sound so trivial?! Regardless of that, he could tell that Lev was genuine about what he said. This made Yaku feel like he had just won the lottery, maybe he had won something even better than that. It caused Yaku to feel like he had just been brought out from his grey life and had become someone new. Someone who maybe could learn how to make strong bonds with people, someone who could be thrilled about everyday stuff, someone who might deserve to be happy, someone who could be happy.

He felt a small smile of hope form in his face, hope for a new future, a future which may include Lev in it. Yes, he must ask.

“Tell me Lev, would you want to be my boyfriend?” asked Yaku with confidence, it was now or never.

Without thinking twice, the answer was given, “Yes!” 

Once Lev had answered, Yaku could feel his breathing going back to normal for a while. He felt his anxiousness vanish only for being replaced by an overflowing joy. There was a reduced amount of times in his life he could recall feeling as much triumph as the one he was feeling at that moment. He could for once in his life, tell that he had made the right choice. 

But this was too good to be true. Could Yaku be daydreaming? Yeah, it must be that. How could what had just happened ever be real. Why did he even bother to put his hopes so high?

No, this time he wasn’t going down that pit of self-sabotage. 

“Yaku-san, are you there?”

Right, this was NOT a dream. Yaku had just confessed what he truly felt for Lev, Lev had said he felt the same way, it was all true. And now he would have to live with the consequences wherever they would take him to.

“Yes I´m still here,” answered Yaku.

He knew it was going to be hard. They lived in different countries, had both complicate personal and professional problems, but maybe and only maybe, if Yaku had Lev by his side, he would be able to end victorious out of it. And at that moment, all that Yaku wanted to do was to keep talking and laughing through his phone with Lev. 

He suddenly wanted to do all that stupid cheesy things he had so much criticized couples of doing, holding hands, being stupidly cute with each other, and much more. Their conversation of the day ended with them making the promise to see each other again as soon as they could. What the future had in store for them? They didn’t know the answer to that. What they did knew was that they could make it out victoriously together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, the ending was shorter than I planned and came way sooner than I had planned it to.
> 
> I could say this feels kind of rushed but at the same time when writing this chapter, I didn't know what else to write so, I decided that it was better to don´t push myself and just leave the ending as it came.
> 
> I hope it was not disappointing! For a while, I considered giving it a sad ending, but a the end, I desisted from the idea.
> 
> I might or might not be back with new fanfic about this ship soon. Lately on, I have been obsessed with Haikyuu, and there are only three ships I really love, obviously, being this ship one of them. Also, this ship is kind of underrated so, yeah, might be back with something!
> 
> Thank you again for reading and see you till then!


End file.
